Casablanca
by TheArrowThatMissed
Summary: “Here's looking at you, kid,” Those five words can tell you everything you need to know about someone. And by everything, I mean whether they like Casablanca or not. LilyJames


I own very little and Harry Potter is, unfortunately, not mine.

"Here's looking at you, kid," He said raising his glass then taking a big sip.

***

Those five words can tell you everything you need to know about someone. And by everything, I mean whether they like Casablanca or not, and really that's all you need to know about a person to befriend them. Those five words changed my life.

Every Christmas Eve, my family and I would watch Casablanca. Why? Because it was tradition. How did it start? I haven't got the slightest idea.

Every friend I have had has liked Casablanca, bar one. If they haven't seen it, they'll watch it. With me.

I have seen the movie at least 50 times; once every Christmas, and many times with friends.

I know every line by heart. I can name every actor that speaks in it. But you're not a true Casablanca fan until you realize you can't watch any other movies with Humphrey Bogart, because he is, and will always be Rick Blaine. That hit me when I was 13.

This year had been the only time that I didn't watch it on Christmas Eve because I had been swamped with work so I stayed at Hogwarts for the Christmas break. That's when IT happened.

***

"I beg your pardon," I said, dropping my fork. Wasn't I just pathetic? I was eating dinner with Head Boy Potter- who is beautiful, by the way- which, even thought we are friends, we never did together. It was a mutual agreement; we already spend so much time together, so we never ate dinner together. But so many students had gone home for Christmas this year, including all my friends and his, except Sirius who was nowhere to be found.

He seemed paralyzed for a second, as if no one ever asked him this question and then swallowed the juice in his mouth. "It's a toast. It's from a muggle movie, Casablanca," he said slowly. "You must've heard of it, it's a very well known movie."

"Of course I've seen Casablanca," I said dismissively, and taking a big sip of my juice. "But how have you heard of it?" I asked now loading my plate with some fish.

"I'm not clueless about the muggle world you know. My aunt, my father's youngest sister, was squib. She was in her last year** (**)** when the movie came out. She loved it," he said in between his mashed potatoes. He put some sausage on his plate and continued to cover it in relish. "She told my father to go see it, and of course he loved it. So every Easter we invite Aunt Tessie over to watch it."

"Oh," Yeah, I know, how articulate of me. We finished dinner in silence and then the second I could, I excused myself.

***

So the next days was Christmas, and guess what he got me! A diamond pendant necklace, and this diamond was as wide as my pink nail and a little longer! I knew he was rich, but- It doesn't matter because I cannot accept this. I got him Quaffle pyjamas and mint tea for Merlin's sake, and he got me a diamond pendant. I wish I didn't suck at this present thing.

So as I made my way downstairs, cursing my parents for raising me well, and thinking of ways to keep the necklace, each more desperate than the previous. I got to the bottom thinking that maybe I can pretend my owl stole it and I am thus unable to return it. I look towards the fireplace and saw him sitting on the couch talking to Sirius, wearing the pyjamas he must have just opened five minutes ago because the tag was still on them. I walked up to them and sat down beside him.

"So Tiger did you like your presents?" I winced at the nick-name. Leave it to Sirius to think of something that embarrassing. I looked to my left and saw James smiling at my discomfort. I took James hand and he turned to face me. I placed the necklace in his hand and then curled his fingers over it. His eyebrows knotted together.

"You don't like it?"

"Are you mad?" I asked bringing my hands up to my temples and shaking my head. He sighed and looked gloomy. "I LOVE IT. I can't keep it though." He perked up.

"And why the hell not?" It was Sirius.

"Yea, why? I spent hours looking for it," he said looking me in the eye. He spent time on me, for a present. Merlin, he is cute.

"James, I spent under five galleons on you, it makes me feel bad, because that necklace was expensive," I narrowed my eyes. "At least it better have been expensive... Merlin what am I saying, it doesn't matter if it was expensive or not because I cannot keep it, cost more than five Galleons, that's for sure," I finally managed to shut myself up looking over to James and Sirius chuckling at my rambling. I did not blush, I did not blush, I did not blush. I so did blush.

"Yes, Lily, the necklace was expensive," he said, talking slowly as if I was five, I made a hand movement to speed him up. "But that doesn't mean you can't have it."

"James, I just can't accept it," I said before I got up and left for breakfast. "Happy Christmas."

***

Finding out that James likes Casablanca was like the last push until a vase falls and shatters, the last little bit of pressure on a balloon before it explodes. Okay, that last one maybe was not the best simile for this situation, I would prefer it if my brain did not explode, or shatter for that matter. I really, really like James Potter. Ah, yes that was the point.

I swear that man is perfect, not only is he beautiful, but he loves Casablanca (at least I think he does, then again how couldn't he) and buys fantastic Christmas Presents. And he is beautiful. Boys is he ever beautiful. Once my mom told me that men can't be beautiful, then again she has never met James Potter. Merlin do I wish he was mine. I would eat seven flobberworms if he asked. Okay maybe I wouldn't, but I would pretend to.

I know. Pathetic. I don't talk about it. I pretend it doesn't exist. I haven't told anyone. And that is how it will stay.

But I sometimes wish he would just find out, or know. Knowing would be better, because then it would be like he could sense when something was bothering me like soul mates.

Goodness I sound like some sappy- I can't even think of a good simile. Some sappy romance writer, there.

Merlin help me.

***

You know what is stupid? I have to patrol tonight. With James. Yea, it's Christmas day and we have to patrol. What if we were not here? Then would we still have to patrol?

The first part of our patrol was AWKWARD. Then:

"Listen James, it's not that-"

"Lily, shut up," he said still not looking me in the eye.

"I beg your pardon James?" I said trying to catch his attention. I got it. He turned towards me, I immediately regret it. I don't know why, he just looks so sad, it hurts my chest just looking at him. Now that is even more pathetic. "What's wrong James? What's going on? This can't be because I did not accept your present."

"Acute observation, Lily. You're right, not everything is about you and how you affect people," he said harshly looking forward once again and starting to walk away. At a very fast pace might I say. I can't believe I am commenting on his pace when he just burned me really badly, that hurt.

That really hurt, so much, in fact, that I didn't follow him. I ran in the other direction, actually. I never felt more pathetic. Okay that's a lie.

I slowed my pace as I approached the kitchens; yes I know where they are. I was advancing upon the painting of the bowl of fruit when I heard someone walking behind me. So I turn around. And it was James. Perfect, exactly the word I used to describe him earlier. He frown at me then looked behind him, as if saying: 'What the hell are you doing here, Evans? And how did you get here faster than I did?'

"Listen Lily, I am sorry. I am sorry for talking to you that way it's just-" he looked really sad. "Were you about to go to the kitchens?" he asked pointing to the painting, trying to cut the awkwardness, I nodded. Am I ever confused? Why is this awkward? Am I missing something? Maybe he doesn't like showing sadness. Come to think of it I have never seen him anything other than smiling stupidly. He is just on of those people that are always smiling. "Good because I could use a drink." Oh right, he was talking. He wants a drink? Not on my watch. Great, now I've turned into my dad.

"What? James no," I said suddenly blocking his path to the kitchens. "No alcohol tonight, okay? I want you to explain to me what is going on." And I want you to love me and kiss me and never let me go.

So we got in, sat down at a table and had the house elves get us some milk and cookies. James looked up from his cookies and just said it.

"My aunt Tessie is dying." What? Did not see that coming. In fact I nearly dropped my glass of milk.

I had no idea what to say. So this came out.

"So, that's why you were talking to me the way you were. As if I was the most disgusting piece of trash, the dirt under your shoes or the bug you squash because it is in your way." I really am terrible at this simile thing. But that is what I said. What kind of a sick monster does that make me? Yes, one that makes you apologize for nothing when your aunt Tessie is dying. "I take that back. I'm sorry to hear that James." He chuckled. He was laughing at me. His aunt Tessie is dying and he was laughing at me.

"You are shit in the comforting department," he said, then slowly took a drink from his milk.

"That's why you're laughing?" Is he unhinged? Of course is he. He is my unhinged, beautiful, Casablanca loving, monster. And by monster I mean gorgeous creature. He cleared his throat and looked more serious.

"I got a letter at lunch from my mum. Dad is really sad. Well obviously," he sniffled then looked around uncomfortably. "Sorry it's just I never talk about this kind of... stuff."

"Well I think you should," I said encouragingly. "I mean now, you know... if you want to."

"Oh-umm right. So Sirius and I are going home tomorrow. It's just really hard, you know?" he said finishing his cookie and getting up. "We are supposed to be patrolling." I nodded and got up. So that was probably the most awkward three minutes of my life. And we barely even spoke. It was even worse than that time when I had a stomach ache and Professor Slughorn asked me if it was menstrual cramps, in front of everyone. Scratch that, nothing could ever be more awkward than that.

So I look down at my watch just to see how much longer we have to patrol and then I realized that my watch got water-logged. Three years ago. When James said I was to chicken to jump into the Great Lake. Ah, James. He is so beautiful. Okay I really need to sleep more. And I REALLY have to stop rambling. I don't even know what has gotten into me.

"It's 10:30. Which means we don't actually have to patrol anymore," James, bless him, doesn't seem to have noticed me spacing out and grabbed my hand and took me back to the Gryffindor common room.

**

So James left the next day and I accompanied him the headmaster's office where he was going to floo-out from, with Sirius. Just before we got in the office he pulled me aside. It went something like this:

"Lily- Darling-My reason to live, I love you so much! Give me one kiss before I must leave," he said to me passionately at arm's length, then kissed me like there was no chance of us ever meeting again. Okay, so I'm lying. I am so pathetic. My fake love scenes that didn't even happen are awful.

It went more like this.

"Listen, Lily, I really appreciate you letting me talk to you last night," he said looking deeply into my eyes, the windows to my soul. Okay, so he was looking at his feet. It puzzled me, because he barely even spoke about his emotions, he could not have appreciated it that much. I told him this. He just repeated that he was very grateful, then hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

I went back to the common room with the stupidest smile on my face. I was pathetic; it was just a kiss on the cheek.

**

Sirius and James came back three days later. I was in the common room, sitting beside John Rackham, reading _Hogwarts: a History_ when they came in. James saw me and went straight up stairs but Sirius came up to me.

"How was it?" I asked getting up and moving away from the couch. What a stupid thing to ask.

"Well she died peacefully in her sleep last night," he said very matter-of-factly putting his hands in his pockets. "He's pretty torn up about it."

"Well of course he is."

"Just don't try anything funny, okay Evans?" he said looking over at the boy on the couch, I nodded not fully understanding, but that seemed enough for him and he went upstairs to, presumably, talk to James.

**

Two days later James and I were patrolling once more. The break wasn't over so it was really more like 'I am taking a walk with my Buddy the beautiful Potter.' It was nice.

And then I tripped. Leave it to me to trip when walking and talking to the most beautiful man in the world. I know, pathetic, right?

I would like to say that he caught me before I fell, but lying isn't my forte. Well, okay, so he _tried_ to catch me. We both ended up on a heap on the floor, him on top of me. He rolled of me and I almost protested, but the he somehow rolled me so that I was slightly on top of him. He, then, looked up at the ceiling and just started laughing.

He is a strange one, ain't he? He got up quickly then pulled me up.

"You know what's funny, Lily?" He asked holding my hands in his own.

"This situation?" Apparently.

"No. Well, yes," he said dropping my hands and the conversation, apparently, because he turned around and started walking forward. I just stood there. Like the pathetic, dreadful-simile-maker, beautiful-James-Potter lover, addicted-to-Casablanca Lily Evans that I am.

He turned around and started walking back towards me.

"Have you ever felt like the most pathetic person in Britain before?" Of course. "And you just have to laugh? As if life couldn't get any worse and then one more thing sends you off the edge and the gloominess of your life just makes you laugh?" I think he needs to go to St. Mungos. The death of aunt Tessie must've hit him real hard. He was right in front of me and still kept on walking forward. So I took a step back.

"James?" I asked, I had my back against the wall and he was about a foot away from me. Oh, if only he would kiss me. And he did. Okay, so, that was not a lie at all! But he did other stuff before hand:

"Merlin, Lily, you drive me up the wall with your 'manners' and your 'I'm so nice to everyone in the world'," he said then ran his hands through his hair a few times. He was still a foot away from me and I was pretty much looking up his nose at this point. He is so tall and so beautiful and I am this tiny little idiot. Wait, w as he just ... insulting me? "Because you are this little, witty," I beg to differ. "Saint, that does what she wants, but follows all the rules-"

"Well, Potter, if you are here to infuriate me with..." what was he saying about me? Was it really that bad? I looked down at my shoes trying to figure out what the hell is going on and then runs his fingers through MY hair and tugs lightly, forcing me to look up, which was quickly followed by a mind-blowing kiss. I mean really mind-blowing. As in I-would-describe-it,-but-I-don't-know-how-to-because-I-kind-of-forgot-how-to-think-for-those-ten-seconds.

"What?" was that really all I could say? How about 'thank you' or 'that was fantastic, same time tomorrow?', no I have to say 'what?'. I am pa-the-tic.

"Sorry, I would explain but I'm not sure if you would be able to survive the cheesy-ness," he said smiling down at me, his hand still in my hair. You know what is better? You know where mine is? In his back pocket. Whoops. Well he is never going to be able to get my hand out of there. Sucks to be him.

"Oooh! Let me guess. You saw the misery death can bring and you decided to live your life with no regrets, and decided to kiss me so... I don't know why you did that..." I said, at first I had been looking up at his face, but then I started tracing his button holes with my eyes. The buttonholes on his shirt, not his pants.

"No, but close," he said, catching my attention and I looked back up at his face. And squeezed his bottom a little. Which made him grin, how beautiful. "I saw you with Rackham earlier." I laughed.

"John Rackham? And what you got so jealous that you had to lay down the fact that the best kiss of my life will be to you?" I said, barely even realizing what I actually had said. His grin got so much bigger I realized that I must've embarrassed myself somehow. So he kissed me again. This time he pushed me into the wall as well. It was nice; the contrast of his chest (the wall of his body-okay, bad metaphor) and the cold stone wall of the castle. I brought my hands up his stomach and then left them on his chest, drawing small circles as his cam down my back and rested on my waist. The whole time kissing me, it was great! Wait- I pulled away.

"What does this mean James? That we are friends-with-benefits?" I asked frantically, I am so close. Stupid technicalities.

"Psh! You are going to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow, since class doesn't start for another week, and it is going to be a date," he said moving away from me and walking down the hall my hand in his. I nodded. "Oh! And," he turned abruptly and attached a necklace around my neck. "You are going to wear this, because I spent hours looking for it in my family's vault." I tried to look down at the necklace but the chain was too short to bring into my vision. "It's the on I gave you for Christmas."

"It was in your family's vault? I thought you said it was expensive," I muttered as we approached the common room.

"Yeah for my great-grandfather, it must've cost a fortune, look at it, okay maybe you can't at the moment but it's huge Lily!" he said, and the rambled on a little more about the price of a quality diamond. I stopped walking and shut him up. With a kiss.

How pathetic. I have turned into some sort of a sap.

So I have two exams tomorrow, and I know nothing about one of them. No, seriously, I could tell you more about the lifestyle of Indonesia than I could about the novel we studied in class. And I am a math major, which leaves me knowing very little about Indonesia. rant over

10 geek points / awesome points to whoever knows who John Rackham is. (Not in Harry Potter)

I finally finish this and the website won't let me login. I started this in august, no joke. FF net can you please just let me upload before you go all screwy?


End file.
